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How To Grow A Community, How To Build A Tribe

When I think of community, I think of the border town where I spent my formative childhood years. We were a country at war, and my dad was a commander in the military, so we lived in an army house, on an army street, with a bomb shelter on our back varandah.

It was one of those streets where everyone knew everyone. We had dinner at each other’s houses. Street parties. The children played in the streets, we had a swing in the front garden. Someone else had a swimming pool. Someone else a tree house.

When the war ended we moved again to a lovely town on a lovely street. I remember a lot of grass. And I remember how lonely it felt. It took months to meet our neighbours. Even though they had kids in the same school, it took months for us to actually meet.

I also remember thinking as a 9 year old “This street needs a war. It needs an outside enemy to bring everyone together”. A war with an outside enemy never came, thankfully, but the idea has always stuck with me. How people rally together when there’s an outside threat – just look at natural disasters. Continue reading How To Grow A Community, How To Build A Tribe

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Nature or Nurture – and Eureka!

You hear ever again the argument: is nature or nurture the most important influence in childhood, or is it both? Yes, of course both are important, and the more research that is done the more we find how much the environment a child grows up in, not just physical but even more important emotional, will influence the child for life. Yet something important is still missing.

In a roundabout way, it provided me with inspiration for writing about the ‘third year’ in early childhood (in previous blogs I have written about the first two years). It came together with something else:

We’ve all had such experiences: sudden thoughts, inspirations, helping us find a solution to something. It turns out the Eureka moments have greater insight and accuracy than lengthy analysis*. A puzzle – it would seem to contradict our modern rational order of things! Something inexplicable happens – something new enters. Continue reading Nature or Nurture – and Eureka!

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The Comfort Habit

Recently I had a discussion with a health visitor about my 10 month old son’s diet and sleep.

I explained that he still regularly wakes up and that I breastfeed on demand in the day and night. “He doesn’t need milk in the night. He’s just waking for milk, out of habit”, she said.

I didn’t agree, I thought he was waking up and wanting comfort.

“Well yes, it’s the same thing’.

Again I have to disagree.

In my mind; and due to how we use the word, habit is seen as a weakness, a negative. I can’t think of any positive habits. A ‘drink habit’, a ‘drug habit’, a ‘smoking habit’ to name but a few. I don’t think you can label a 10 month old with a ‘milk habit’!

Comfort is completely different. To wake up and seek comfort seems to me the most natural and normal thing in the world. Sometimes when I wake in the night I snuggle into my husband for a cuddle, a soothing embrace which then helps me to drift back into a peaceful sleep. Why should my infant boy not want the same? It’s just that his comes in the form of a breast feed.

A close, comforting, bonding experience.

I don’t understand why we are made to feel by some health professionals, as well as much of society, that this is somehow wrong. A bad habit that we need to break. As breaking is what it would be…breaking a bond, breaking a special connection, one he will never have again. A comfort that provides him such stability, continuity and calm.

I wonder why it seems that we are often advised or told what our baby needs. When I was a first time mum this made me really doubt myself and worry endlessly that I was creating a rod for my own back and was setting myself and my baby up for a lifetime of challenging nights. As it turned out this thankfully was not the case, and this gave me renewed confidence when my son came along to go with my instincts. I once did a course and was taught that a parent is the expert on their baby, and the baby is the teacher. They let the parent know what they need and the parent, as the expert, responds to their baby’s needs.

I am thankful for this as I often think of it now. What is so wrong with providing a baby, toddler, child or human for that matter, comfort when they need it? I will continue to feed him during the night while he still wants me to, and one day I will look back on these days and wonder how they went by so quickly and perhaps miss feeling so needed.
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health
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sports
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travel
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fitness
nutrition
Nutritiousfood
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Yoga
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evaluation
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Fashionmagazine
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fitness
health
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car
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Motorcar
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Loseweight
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appetite
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health
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appetite
attitude
movies
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health
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Reduceweight
science
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cookbook
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fitness
health
magazine
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Streetfashion
travel
art
fashion
health
music
photography
sports
Therecipe
tourism
travel
Fitnessequipment
fitness
nutrition
Nutritiousfood
routine
training
video
Yoga
Classiccars
evaluation
technique
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business
Fashionmagazine
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fitness
health
lifestyle
Smalltools
Therecipe
travel
animation
car
games
Motorcar
movies
music
news
Scienceandtechnology
tutorial
catering
health
Loseweight
outdoors
Reduceweight
science
stretch
training
Abadgirl
appetite
attitude
movies
rendezvous
sex
toys
business
fashion
fitness
health
lifestyle
news
Smalltools
Streetfashion
Therecipe
travel
hygiene
industry
invest
markets
medical
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Realestate
technique
Fitnessequipment
fitness
Nutritiousfood
routine
training
video
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art
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health
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Therecipe
tourism
travel
hygiene
industry
invest
markets
medical
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Realestate
technique
animation
car
games
Motorcar
movies
music
news
Scienceandtechnology
tutorial
business
cookbook
fashion
fitness
health
magazine
news
sports
Streetfashion
travel
Bigdata
business
Fashionshow
fitness
health
lifestyle
Smalltools
Therecipe
Abadgirl
appetite
attitude
movies
rendezvous
sex
toys
Fitnessequipment
fitness
Nutritiousfood
routine
training
video
Yoga
art
fashion
health
music
photography
sports
Therecipe
tourism
travel
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industry
invest
markets
medical
Motorcar
Realestate
technique
animation
car
games
Motorcar
movies
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Scienceandtechnology
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cookbook
fashion
fitness
health
magazine
news
sports
Streetfashion
travel
Bigdata
business
Fashionshow
fitness
health
lifestyle
Smalltools
Therecipe
Abadgirl
appetite
attitude
movies
rendezvous
sex
toys
catering
health
outdoors
Reduceweight
science
stretch
training
business
cookbook
fashion
fitness
health
magazine
news
sports
Streetfashion
travel
art
fashion
health
music
photography
sports
Therecipe
tourism
travel
Fitnessequipment
fitness
nutrition
Nutritiousfood
routine
training
video
Yoga
Classiccars
evaluation
technique
transact
business
Fashionmagazine
Fashionshow
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fitness
health
lifestyle
Smalltools
Therecipe
travel
animation
car
games
Motorcar
movies
music
news
Scienceandtechnology
tutorial
catering
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Loseweight
outdoors
Reduceweight
science
stretch
training
Abadgirl
appetite
attitude
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rendezvous
sex
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