Breastfeeding Petition

What's in The Mother's mailbag

In the mailbag of TM31 - 2008

I'm writing to let you know that The Mother magazine has a disastrous effect on my mothering, and has the effect of bringing out the most terrible and selfish aspects in me...once every two months when it arrives in my hands, all I want to do is devour it. I don't want to talk to anyone else, do anything else, prepare food or do housework, and could easily become a detached and neglectful parent for a few hours ;-)

However, I'm recovering, and have managed to discipline myself to keeping it aside to savour in those quiet, still, breastfeeding moments, usually at bedtime. It's the only magazine committed to being completely truthful and uncompromising where children's rights and needs are concerned. Please keep being you.

Emma (Birth/Earth Activist, Lactivist & Mother/Baby Intactivist)
Walk lightly. Consume less. Care more.

~

Just wanted to say a big thank you for continuing to produce such an important magazine and voice for a more conscious-striven generation of parents. My Dad bought me a subscription for my birthday a couple of years ago, and it has been such a valuable present that when he asks what I want each year I simply ask him to renew my subscription! I also wanted to thank you for sharing your wisdom in your book, The Drinks Are On Me. This is such a beautiful book.

My first son self-weaned at three years, and at just a month over two, I imagined that my second son would soon wean as well. At the time of writing this, I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my third child, and initially had mixed feelings about 'going with the flow' when it came to my second son's breastfeeding.

Re-reading your book has really been great support in helping me realise that to impose Joshua to wean off the breast at this stage would be cruel given that he knows there's another baby coming and that he won't be the littlest member of the family for much longer. Before we even told him there was another babe on the way, he seemed to intuit that something was different, and his need for the breast increased greatly. So, thank you again. I am also eagerly anticipating the release of your latest book The Birthkeepers from both the perspective a birthing woman and a birth attendant.

Both of my boys were born at home, but the second was unassisted, not by conscious choice but because my midwife didn't believe the stage I was at and went home! I think it was meant to happen that way, however, as it was the most empowering experience of my life, and spurred me to reassess my role as a doula. When I went back to practise after my son was born, I became disillusioned with the expectation that doulas (merely as birth support) were expected to turn a blind eye or actively support unethical birth practices (you know, those practices considered the norm in our society). As a result, I changed the perspective of my practice, and inspired by the late, great Jeanine Parvati Baker, changed my job description to Birthkeeper.

I now endeavour to help women take responsibility for their own birth experience and explore their own inner midwife. I fully support freebirth (unassisted pregnancy and/or birth). With this pregnancy I have embarked on a journey of autonomous/unassisted pregnancy and birth, with only my family present. So hopefully I'll have an inspiring story for the magazine around March/April next year.

Anyway, my heartfelt thanks once again.
Many blessings, Michelle

~

I wanted to write and say thank you for being such a brave and successful speaker on behalf of all of us who breastfeed, and all of humanity, really. Off the beaten track physically (three hilly miles from a bus route) and virtually (no tv/computer), I still haven’t seen the show you did in America, but I’m sure you were wonderful. It must be obvious to everyone that you’re on the side of the angels, but ‘people would rather die than think’… I enclose gifts from my children on the way to the post box.

In love, Louise

~

Twelve days ago we gave birth to our second beautiful son, Daniel, who has Down Syndrome.

We would like to bring him up the same way/in a similar way as our first born, and wonder, if there are parents of little Down Syndrome people out there who would be open to share their experiences - especially regarding alternatives to vaccination, natural infant hygiene and full-term breastfeeding.  

Thank you so much for all the good work you are doing, and I deeply enjoyed your talk about Breastfeeding at Seven Generations in Bristol.

Kind regards, Natascha, Mark & Sebastian

~

I live in Maine, in the U.S. I saw just a clip from the documentary Extraordinary Breastfeeding, and I wanted to write and thank you for bringing attention to the normality of breastfeeding beyond toddlerhood.

I breastfed my now nine year old daughter until she was five and a half years old, and unfortunately I weaned her then because at that time I was a single mom and I was afraid that people would think there was something wrong with my parenting and I would lose custody of her. I appreciate that there are people supporting moms who want to allow their children to breastfeed until they self wean! I now have a supportive husband, and an infant son who I will be breastfeeding until he is ready to stop.

Thanks again! Jess

~

Dear Mother Community,

I'm looking for some new friends! We live in Aotearoa (New Zealand), and although I'd love some contact with TM readers in the same country, anyone would be more than welcome! Our

small and conservative city is a lonely place for this unschooling, vegan, tandem-feeding, bare-footed, long-skirted woman!

We're blessed with three beautiful boys: Maikah (13), Cedar (nearly 6), and River (3), and wander unhurried through our days together doing whatever the boys are drawn towards.

I'm breastfeeding our youngest two (in spite of dire predictions by some, Maikah did wean himself before 13), and sometimes get some sleep in our combination of family-beds...although these sleeping arrangements are probably why our 4th child is still not yet a sparkle in my eye!

I can be found at: starstriders@clear.net.nz

I’m so looking forward to hearing from some of you beautiful people.

Love and blessings, Willow Starstrider

In the mailbag of TM30 - 2008

Have to say that The Mother has literally changed my life and impacted me in a way that no magazine has even come close to.
Roksana

The overwhelming joy of The Mother 
arriving in her letterbox will send my daughter into a high state of excitement, anticipation, rejuvenation, consolidation and all the other great things that being a mother can give. 
Regards,
Helen

I started subscribing from issue one with my first child, I'm now onto child number three, and have matured so much in this time. TM really embodies what I feel, not only about birthing, but parenting, nutrition, the whole caboodle. I've even got my own independent midwife (who "witnessed" my last two births) recommending it to all of her prospective mothers.
Tracie

Hello Veronika, I basically just wanted to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart for changing my outlook on life and enlightening my world. I won’t go into the long and sometimes quite horrendous details, but I’m a 40 year young mummy to four older teenage children and one beautiful surprise baby, Charlie, who is 19 months, and I have never felt so happy and at peace being a parent than I do now. You have made me wiser and more determined to enjoy every minute with my babies, especially my youngest, and I felt it only right to say thanks. I am an avid reader of The Mother and have just finished reading The Drinks are on Me. I also love your blog. Please, please keep up your wonderful work. Love and peace to you and your family.
Sue

Thanks for the wonderful magazine. I opened it this evening and couldn't put it down! I was talking to a good friend of mine about natural parenting and she told me about your magazine, (I don't know where she heard about it). I looked it up on the internet a few months ago and ordered a copy. I have got a lovely one year old daughter, so your magazine is so helpful. (I've got 10 and 12 year olds, too, and did things so differently with them. I'm trying to do things better with my youngest!) Thanks again for the magazine.
Julie
 
Thank you for that wonderful article Toxic TV? in TM26. The week after reading that eye-opening article I actually found Martin Large’s book Set-free Childhood in my little local library! Thank you to whoever ordered that in. Strangely though, when I picked it up I hadn’t cottoned on that it was actually the same Martin Large talking about television – I had thought that it was a book about enjoying a playful childhood! Anyway, I read it avidly and within a week of the original TM article, I single-handedly heaved and lugged our enormous box out of the house and into the car. My partner was not impressed, and embarrassingly for him now, he offered no assistance whatsoever. It was he who was most affected by the loss of the television and he was displeased for several days but agreed to give it a go for a week, then two weeks... Then he realised that really there are other things to do than watch television in the evening, and the art of conversation has returned too, of course. So has the radio, but I’m working on that! Our children never watched tv anyway so they don’t feel they’re missing anything. Phew! Their daddy actually thanked me a while back, too. We offered the tv on Freecycle. I am so pleased for the space in our home and in our life. Thank you for facilitating that.
Kajsa
 
I was so sad to read about your last blog post, but you've left the party while it is on a high. And you have shared so many wonderful words and journeys with us all. I hope this is just a matter of choice or time management and not because of anything that has happened... Your You Tube video is wonderful; it's so beautiful to see women breastfeeding their babes, and I love hearing you talk - you have so much passion and wisdom to share. How could anyone argue with what you have said?! Congratulations on delivering your petition; the support you had came in so fast; it all brought tears to my eyes. You're a wonderful woman, Veronika; an amazing soul who is changing the lives of many. I think of you often when I'm tearing my hair out, and you bring such peace and strength to my heart.
Much love and respect,
Rae

By my very good fortune to have such wonderful friends, one of them, the gorgeous Victoria Blease, blessed me with a subscription to The Mother on the news of my first pregnancy, at the beginning of this year.
I was delighted by this special gift, especially as I had flicked through so many copies owned by other people but had never had the good fortune of being a mother myself, and thereby, the good reason to have my own copies. (To be honest, I think they are equally valuable magazines for parents and friends-of-parents/children alike.)
My first copy arrived in January, appropriately containing a smiley photo of the Blease children, including the latest member: Annie Rose.
I have been quietly hoping everyday that a copy would arrive in the post as my baby is due next week! I would hate to be missing the wonderful insights, experiences, advice and stories that enhanced the beginning of my pregnancy and could bless my motherhood.
If you would, please pass on my fondest regards to Veronika ... I know her from Penrith, shining like the moon whenever I saw her! I'm sure she will remember me as a friend of Victoria's, a brief member of the Bluebell Bookshop team, and an appreciative member of the community of Penrith (hoping to return in 2 years!). I hope she also knows that I am pregnant :-)
With the kindest wishes,
Amanda. Poland.

Reading The Mother makes me feel like I'm arriving home after a long, troubled journey. It all makes perfect sense to head, heart and spirit. Thank you so much for it all.
Pendella

I have been reading The Mother for a couple of years here in New Zealand, but our supplier is no longer doing subscriptions. I first saw your magazine at a local organics store long before I became pregnant with my first child, and your magazine became a beacon of light, and encouraged me, at the right time, to move towards a greater awareness for preconception and birthing our son (I even ordered all of the back copies and read them voraciously).  
It is a shame that there is no a longer supplier here in NZ, as I think that chance sighting like my own at the shop counter was life changing and enlightening. However, I will continue to subscribe to your magazine and look forward to receiving the next issue. Congratulations on producing such a relevant and exciting magazine on mothering. Kind Regards,
Shannon

www.joyouslearning.info Our online community is a wonderful mix of homeschoolers, unschoolers, natural learners and everything in-between. Our roots come from Gentle Parenting philosophy, so our approach to home education reflects this in our respect for our children and their individual needs, as well as seeking to show them the myriad facets of this world, and instil in them a truly global worldview, one which is compassionate and impassioned.
Emma

Thanks for renewing our subscription recently. I bought the first issue of TM just after our first babe was born and have had every issue since -- many thanks for the support and inspiration.
Jane

The Mother was recommended on The Continuum Concept forum, and when I looked at the website I thought it sounded fantastic! I'm looking forward to reading it, having just become the mother of two today!
Sophie

I have reviewed Veronika Robinson’s book The Drinks Are On Me. The review can be read in its entirety at http://www.marysworld411.blogspot.com
I sincerely hope Veronika has much success in raising awareness for breastfeeding.
Mary Nichelson

I received my first copy of The Mother today, and what I have read of it is fantastic! I have a little girl who has just turned one. I babywear, breastfeed/baby-led weaned, co-sleep and EC (no nappies), and generally try to live as naturally as possible, so your magazine is perfect for me. 
One of my baby-wearing friends recommended it. Thank you for your magazine! Lots of love  
Hannah xx

Dear Veronika
Against my better judgement, my two youngest boys are in a state primary. Their father feels it is better for me (!) to have some rest (having had raised blood pressure and quite a few headaches recently) and I do manage to get a lot done while they are in school. But at what a cost? They have previously had a Waldorf school, or home. It is only small consolation to know that I am not the usual mum at the school gates. I question everything and am a complete pain in the bum for the staff, I'm sure. Today, though, I nearly removed my children from the system completely. They had a much trumpeted 'sex education' class. I'd seen most of the content and talked to other parents and felt ok. Boy, how wrong can you be? This is a warning to all parents. The educator (from the local LEA and going in to all local primary schools!) told our boys (aged 10 and 11) that they couldn’t “consent to having sex until they were 13”! Well, I was so surprised (and shocked) that I had to check that the age of consent hadn't been changed without me realising. A trawl of the internet tonight has further fuelled my fears. A GP from York is saying that parents cannot be trusted to give the right sex education, and schools should be the only ones to give this information. A teacher from Britain is asking for sex education tools for a blind child of six! I am beginning to wonder if this is a sneaky agenda to get the age of consent dropped, by stealth ~ when parents see schools advocating this rubbish they are tempted to believe it is ok.
I am a strong (extremely strong) advocate for children to be children for as long as they can. I am preaching to the converted talking to you (and I am so glad you and TM exist) but I want to make other parents aware of the issue.
Love and best wishes
Sarah
 
I am still feeding my 2 3/4 old and plan to do so until he is three, or he decides he no longer wants breakfast in bed! My husband and I gladly signed the petition you posted ~ BREAST IS BEST. I wish I had never tried formula as I was advised to do when he was three months. We had years of milk intolerance problems as a result, and the health service never once linked it to formula. It was only through my detective work and private consultations with homeopathy and Bupa that we concluded milk was the cause of his poor sleep, low immune system and regular, problematic skin problems. A second baby is being planned, and no formula!! My son is as bright as a button, too smart for his own good and I believe the help of Foresight vitamins, and his breastfeeding, are the reasons.
Jade

Full-term breastfeeding on the Tyra Banks’ Show (USA)
I think Tyra should be ashamed at how terrible and judgmental she and her audience treated Veronika, and I apologise on behalf of all us Americans who still have a lot of learning to do about the benefits of breastfeeding.
Amber

What a horrible, horrible show (but you were great!). Tyra's comment "I was bottlefed and I'm just fine!" said it ALL! I turned it off after that because I knew the working moms vs stay at home moms thing was going to get nasty. I think what it really boils down to is this: children have no value in our society. I don't think they ever did, really. In the old days, a child's value was how much work he/she did, which was why boys were usually valued more than girls, and these days, kids are seen as accessories. My dad (who was not at all a great father) loved to say how animal rights came about before children's rights and how children's rights came FROM animal rights! In fact, one is likely to get more jail time for hurting an animal than for hurting a child! And people wonder why these poor children end up growing into very screwed up adults. The cycle keeps repeating.
And that whole thing about your husband, WOW! People really cannot comprehend that there are men out there who are mature and are not sex-crazed idiots, but then again, if they aren't, something is wrong with them.
Can you believe that my older sister kept thinking that my husband was a paedophile because he's great with kids?! Kids love him because he can get down on their level, and he spends time with them and plays with them, but that's a sign of being a sexual predator for many people. What has this world come to?!
Janeen

I was happy to see you hold your ground and not get angry even though you were so out numbered. I appreciated you sticking your neck out on the Tyra Banks show, because I now feel even more strongly about my decision to let my children wean themselves. Thanks for doing what you are doing and keep up the good work. It really is God's work. 
Sincerely,
Kaye

I am watching Tyra Banks’ program even as I type this. Tyra is usually open-minded and kind to her guests. I don't think she is being either kind nor open-minded about this issue. I don't know why this is such a frightening issue for her, but I can only admire and respect Veronika's courage to follow her heart.
I hope Veronika does not feel too humiliated by the viciousness of this audience. I am a forty-four year old male who has tried to follow my heart when it comes to living life fully and in harmony with nature. I think it takes tremendous courage to stand against the tide of ignorant, frightened, indignant people who are more concerned about what the crowd is shouting at any given moment than what all of nature is speaking throughout all time.
It is a sad reality that the greatest of all thinkers and doers have suffered at the hands of the booers and hissers. The greatest thinkers of all time, those who changed history like no others, have been ignored, laughed at, lied about, misrepresented, tortured, and even crucified.
I say, "Bravo, Veronika! Keep up your pursuit of wholeness and healing and a full life. I applaud you, but far more importantly, all of nature applauds you."
Brian

Tyra treated you very unfairly and made her personal opinions very clear. Sorry they couldn't at least show both sides. Just wanted to say that I saw you on Tyra and I wanted to offer hugs. What an amazing woman you are to stand up for something so wonderful...and how dare the audience try and sexualise something so wonderful.
I can't believe anyone would see this as wrong and not an amazing gift. How great for a child to ask for breast milk for a birthday present instead of some Britney Spears t-shirt or something detrimental to their self esteem. Bravo!!! If you are ever in Michigan we would love to have you come speak to our LLL! You are my hero!
Rachael

I saw your appearance on the Tyra Banks show and I must say GOOD FOR YOU for standing your ground. Tyra and the audience were an embarrassment. It's so very frustrating to see such ignorance accepted and celebrated. I was tense the entire show, I don't know how you managed! Keep doing the work that you are doing, people do listen (myself being one). Tyra Banks is also extremely ignorant about a lot of things, so I was prepared for her to be the way she was. I wish you had gotten the chance to speak more. 
Danielle

I am a 58 year old grandmother who tried to fight this battle in 1970 when my son was born. I was told I could not nurse in a ladies’ dressing room or in the ladies’ room in Sears. I joined La Leche League, fought the ignorance of doctors and relatives and the general public. I am so disappointed that the battle is still not won. My cousin's daughter was told by a lactation consultant that her breasts were too small to nurse. Is that incredible?!
All I can say is "you go girl"...make this a better place for our grandchildren. Strangers don't matter much anyway. You know what's best for you and your child.
Nona

Veronika - you were absolutely brilliant! Yes, the audience was horrible, and Tyra wasn't much better, but you and Kim held your ground. It was clear that both of you were intelligent, loving mothers. What you said MADE SENSE. I so admire you, and I'm sure I'm not the only one! Thank you for having the courage to tell the truth!
Laura Shanley

The Drinks Are On Me is amazing. I read it soon after we got together but just re-read it while away at the shore, and love the literal transformation you have made. And for the record, I think I would have liked "old Veronika" just as much as I like the current one, just for different reasons!!
Kim Otis
La Leche League Leader of Schenectady County, USA

To Veronika Robinson, I almost never watch TV, but I walked by a lounge at school and happened to see your appearance on Tyra Bank's show the other day. I was horrified at how judgmental the audience seemed to be - was there no-one during the taping who thought that you knew best what worked for your family? I was particularly shocked that the random therapist Tyra brought in, used the words "just enough information to be dangerous". I have no idea if breastfeeding till eight is "right" or "wrong", but "dangerous"?! Just who are you hurting?
I myself am not a mother but, when I am, I would like to breastfeed and parent in the way that works best for me and my children. I have no idea if that will include extended breastfeeding, but right now I think that would be nice if I and my child are able to continue beyond the second year. I remembered that I happened to see YouTube clips of your appearance on some documentary that interviewed you and your daughters about your breastfeeding relationship as well, and I personally thought it was sweet that your daughters are actually able to recall what breast milk tastes like (I think your eldest said it was "sweeter than melons"?), that they actually have concrete memories of breastfeeding and weaning - something pretty rare and precious even among children who happen to be breastfed.
You seem like the type of woman who's going to go her own way no matter what, but that being said, I'm glad there are radicals like you to counteract those women who never even attempt breastfeeding (something that I hate to judge about as a non-mother, but honestly makes my skin crawl - at least those who try, and give up, have something to base their experience on). Keep up the good work on doing what's best for you and your family!
Andrea

I was happy to see the topic but devastated to see how unfairly you were treated.  The Child Protection Service comment was out of line and I thought Ms. Banks acted unprofessionally. 
I was on the couch nursing my seven month old when I saw Veronika on Tyra. I was disgusted by the reaction her comments and personal stories drew from the audience. I just hope that Veronika knows that there are many of us here in Canada and the USA who promote breastfeeding (and are not so rude). I meet with moms in my neighbourhood and we all breastfeed; in front of each other, while at the park, coffee shop, restaurant, wherever we are when our babes are hungry. The audience reaction on Tyra just shows that there are still lots of misconceptions about what our breasts are really for. I admire Veronika's joyous approach to motherhood and look forward to reading her book.
Anon


WOW, I just watched the segment on the Tyra Banks show and I couldn't believe how awful everyone was to Veronika! They were making breastfeeding out to be some sort of a sexual perversion! I am a new RN and my husband and I have just begun trying to get pregnant, and I fully intend to breastfeed. I was not breastfed and I had terrible colic and belly aches all the time as a child, not to mention many allergies. I think this country (USA) is just way too anti-breastfeeding. The idea of breastfeeding a newborn still repulses many here, so it's no surprise that breastfeeding into young childhood would be appalling to many Americans, even though this practise is well accepted in many other nations.
In nursing school, my clinical instructor for our postpartum rotation was an avid breastfeeding promoter, even into childhood. She taught us that when our parents were at the age of having children, the Doctors were telling them that their breast milk wasn't nutritious enough and that they should always use formula. I believe this is part of the reason so many people here don’t understand the benefits of breastfeeding. They are just trusting what their doctors told them.
As breastfeeding becomes more accepted here, I believe breastfeeding for longer will become more accepted, also.
Name withheld.

In the mailbag of TM29 - 2008

Huge congratulations on how well you've been doing with TM. What a journey!!!
Jo Rayner

A truly inspirational magazine. When it arrives in the post, everything else can wait!
Natascha

Spring greetings from sunny south Cumbria. Our family would love to meet The Mother readers and their offspring. Will you kindly add our wish in the next issue? We’re looking forward to your email. Thank you very much. Happy April/May - whatever!
Love, Hrissoula

Hello all ~ the team of The Mother,
I really just want to thank you for such a brilliant mag. I find you my support network. I'm a single mum to Teddie (1 year).
Every time TM drops on my mat, I get a cuppa & biccie, and read it cover to cover whilst Teddie takes a nap, feeds, sits, cuddles or plays near me. It confirms all my beliefs in bringing up Teddie the 'right way': bed sharing, breastfeeding, sling carrying, home education, and so on, including a marvellous drug-free home birth.
There seems so few of us about, but The Mother brings us together in this crazy world of fake milk, animal pens (known as cots!), day-care from six weeks old, and so on! A study on the way we bring up our children versus the main stream would make a great tv documentary. Maybe it would prompt parents to love and care for their children in the natural way, following their gut instinct not how the books and the health professions dictate. (Dare I say my midwife said a five month old should be fed fried egg to put on weight?) It takes a strong person to stand their ground and say “NO” to injections, “no” to weaning bang on six months, but when your child is ready. Teddie was 10 months. Now, at one year, he eats everything, but in small amounts, and some days he still just wants milk. I'm sure this is what has kept him ‘bug’ free. He knows what he wants and needs.
With lots of love, inspiration and thanks for your wonderful mag. Keep up the brilliant work.
Nicola xx
p.s
If anyone lives in Newcastle, I run a breastfeeding support group for all ages, not just babies! Tea, coffee, fruit and a chat. The group is free.

E-mail: littlemisferrit@yahoo.co.uk for location & info.

Thank you so much! I have been absorbed in The Mother all day today. So nice to feel as though I’m not in “Lala Land” after all, as I am so frequently accused of being by people in “the real world”. I am not alone when I hold a copy of The Mother in my hand! The words of The Mother speak to me on such a deep level. It is food for the soul indeed. Love and light, smiles and sunshine,
Michelle J

We love the magazine, keep up the great work. Best wishes,
Louise & Chris Righton

Can you put a notice in TM about baby clothes and stuff? I still have stacks of it. Visit www.vaccineriskawareness.com on the second-hand baby clothes and cloth nappies page. I've got organic baby clothes and tots bots nappy covers, rainbow stripe and polka dots. I've got some slings my friend gave me to sell, etc.
Joanna. e-mail: greekgoddess472@hotmail.com

Dear Veronika,
It has been a long time since I read The Mother magazine. A lot of the things I love about life went by the wayside for a bit, and I'm doing some rediscovery these days. One thing I'd like to bring back into my life is your beautiful magazine! I'm including a few poems that I hope you'll consider including. Maybe they will fit with what you are doing with The Mother these days. Your current website sure looks beautiful! And I especially appreciated this footer: *We are an animal-aware publication and do not take articles or adverts which involve the use or abuse of animals in any way.
Warmest wishes,
Rachel Westfall. Canada

This was me - failed breastfeeder to my first two babes both born before The Mother magazine. Lewis & Katie, I am so sorry, if only I knew. Both were fed from my breasts for only a few short weeks.
This is me now - feeding Oscar, aged eight months.
This is me - thanking every Mama who ever took the time to write their Breastfeeding Career for TM; Lynda Cook Sawyer for her amazing articles, and every Mama who ever wrote a breastfeeding article in TM - know your words held me in the middle of the night, encouraged me to go on when I doubted myself, doubted my breasts, my milk. All the beautiful Mamas who feed their babes anywhere and everywhere - please know that sometimes the person who is staring, is in awe, watching, taking note, learning. To my Mother Friends - who held me when I needed them most, Veronika - thanks is never enough... I love you xx. Together, this is what you have given me, my family... and most importantly, what you have given my son.
Denise Ridgway

In the mailbag of TM28 - 2008

I subscribed to your magazine from the first issue, when I was pregnant with my first child Helix. After my second child, Lila, and on leaving the UK in June 2006, I stopped subscribing feeling 1.) I had grown out of it, my children now being older; and 2.) not having an address, as we planned to travel around Europe.

On returning to the UK recently, a friend gave me back issues that I hadn’t received. What a joy! Delighted by the colour on the front cover, and by the new frequency with which they came out, The Mother again did seem relevant to my life as a natural-living home educator. So, at last, after years of ideas for articles for the magazine, I am finally sitting with enough head space in our warm yurt to write.
Maryjane
France

Dear Barry, another wonderful issue! I continue to be impressed, and have just enjoyed seeing you through your daughter's eyes.
Warmly,
E. Naomi Sandoval

As a single, breastfeeding, baby-carrying mother of my beautiful 14 month old, I know no-one else with the same beliefs except for The Mother. You ease my isolation.
Sarah

Dear Veronika,
Just had to email you! Received my latest copy of The Mother, and am always inspired. Our six month old daughter, Tara Devi, has benefited from all the shared wisdom in those pages, and in your book The Drinks are on Me. All of it feels intuitively right; it's just good to have it confirmed!

I notice you also published Babaji's words in TM27 - I wonder how these words came to you? My family are Babaji devotees, and my husband tours around Europe and the UK playing Babaji's music.
I noticed that there is one mail in that edition from a woman called Sara, who is singing the praises of Mandy the midwife - who was also my midwife at our homebirth. We had such a beautiful birth in our Babaji temple/summerhouse at the end of the garden. Wishing you continued courage and love in your work.
Om Namah Shivaya
Thrisha xxxx

Dear Barry, I forgot to say how much I value and anticipate your and Winnie's articles in The Mother (and Anna's). Your family is a source of great inspiration to me, I salute you all.
Thank you again for the wonderful example of kindness you demonstrate in everything you do.
Name withheld

I would like to sing the praises of the independent midwife who looked after my family for the birth of our second son. I could not have found better care anywhere; she really is one in a trillion, and I will never forget the difference she has made to our lives. Her name is Susan Stevenson:

First born
Convention won out
Instinct suppressed
Fear
Intervention
Heartache

We met for second born
Support beyond expectations
Attachment parenting on a joy-filled journey
Confidence nurtured
Steadfast against doubt
Compassion, respect, trust

A mother's heart healed
A bonny boy so healthy
Revolution affecting generations
Your butterfly wings
Fulfilling hearts
You wonderful woman

As far as brickbats, I have run into them over vaccinations for my second son. "Selfish", "Unfit mother"; some doctors just don't like informed patients! A bit scary when they tell you your children could be taken off you, even though I know they legally can't. Turning to your magazine REALLY helped when I felt rather shaken.

I loved Veronika's book, which tallies so strongly with Mother Nature, tragically rejected in our 'civilised' society. It’s not easy going out on a limb, and I greatly admire her courage. If enough people take on board the message, she could lessen violence in forthcoming generations. What a difference to make! I have also been reading Primal Mothering in a Modern World by Hygeia Halfmoon - well worth a read if you haven't come across it yet. (Ed’s note: It is available from www.fresh-network.com)

Thank you so much for producing a magazine that is providing courage to follow our instincts when we come up against conflict from convention.
Love,
Amanda

Of course I will re-subscribe. How could I live without my fix of The Mother? Thanks and love.
Sophie

I'd like to say a very huge, sincere thank you to all of the Rugby Community Midwives - particularly, Marjorie Dalrymple - who assisted the birth of my son, Tom, in September of last year. Marjorie was my ante-natal midwife throughout my pregnancy, but was off-duty the day I went into labour.

Actually, there was a greater than expected number of home births on the day I went into labour, so Jane, who came out to me initially, was also scheduled to be off-duty. However, she willingly came out at 4am, and gently and respectfully allowed me the space to prepare for Tom's arrival. She stayed with me until the change of shift at 8am, when she contacted Marjorie to let her know I was in labour.
Marjorie gave up precious time with her daughter to be with me, and for that I am deeply grateful. She, along with the other attending midwife, Julie (a hospital midwife), provided humour, moral support and encouragement. My husband took a photograph of us at the bottom of our garden, about an hour before Tom arrived, as we were being shadowed by my daughter, who was dressed in a pink fairy costume. It was a calm and peaceful birth, just after mid-day, on my daughter's third birthday. I have so much respect and admiration for all of the midwives we met on our journey, and I thank them all for doing what they do with such love and care.
Lynne
Nr Rugby, Warwickshire

Dear Veronika, I subscribed to your wonderful magazine for four years, at first while my babies were being conceived, carried and born, and later when I (unexpectedly) became a lone parent to them. I often found The Mother challenging and thought-provoking, and I always found it inspirational and engaging. Your pages always managed to reflect the balancing trick that as parents we strive to master, that of offering support in testing times, in sharing joy in fabulous times, and in providing constancy and stability. During that time, my – and my children’s - experience of lone parenting taught us many lessons in sadness and anger, in love and in letting go, and most rewardingly in finding strength, joy and inspiration in each other.

I let my subscription slip from my busy life a year or so ago, and I often missed the sense of community that exists within The Mother. I have renewed for 2008, in celebration of the two amazing and precious souls that have come into our lives: those of my partner, and our beautiful daughter. Another lesson; that only when you truly and totally set free the hope of something, does it manifest itself. How wonderful!
I can’t wait to receive copies of your magazine again, and to see how it too has evolved, and I hope that all is well with you. Love, light and bright, bright blessings,
Nicola x

I love this magazine! If any readers in the Brighton & Hove area would like to get in touch my email address is :fmcveigh@yahoo.com
Namaste,
Franke

Kaia is six ~ the same age as your magazine, and your words have been beside me through these last six years ~ her baby days, and through my next two pregnancies and births! So yet again, I thank you.
Elwyn

Thank you so much for another fantastic issue of The Mother. I love it. It really does warm the soul on those less than perfect parenting days!
Gina

A few years ago, I took Maya on a demo against a Nescafé café in Bristol – she wrote these slogans. I kept them and thought you might like to use them somewhere - I think they are great!

Nestlé makes babies ill
just to put money in their till

The more Nestlé promotes baby powder
the more we’ll shout “breast is best” louder!

She was about seven at the time.
Love
Eva

Thank you so much for your wonderful publication. This magazine is, in large part, the reason for our peaceful home birth last summer. I never knew I had so many options. It feels wonderful to know I am not alone in choosing to parent responsively; wanting to meet the needs of my girls. Thanks again for the wonderful work you do.
Karen (USA)

I just wanted to mention that I noticed someone’s deodorant advice in last month’s issue. Although it all seems nice and natural, the recipe actually uses talc, which is toxic and dangerous to put on your skin. Talc has been shown to contain asbestos! And even talc that doesn’t, has problems. Therefore, I would recommend someone tells the lady asap, as she is putting it straight into her blood stream. Also – it would be sensible to print the info in the next issue. But – don’t take my word for it, see what the Environmental Working Group in the States says about it: http://www.cosmeticdatabase.com/ingredient.php?ingred06=706427&nothanks=1
And some more: http://www.preventcancer.com/consumers/cosmetics/talc.htm
All the best,
Elin Ross Pedersen
Director, Nothing Nasty Natural Skin Care
info@nothingnasty.com
www.nothingnasty.com

Dear Barry, Thank you very much for my copy of The Mother and The Drinks Are On Me. They arrived yesterday—fantastic service!
I have started reading Veronika’s book and I'm really enjoying it. She has a wonderful style of writing, and the pictures are beautiful.
I came across The Art of Change though the ABM. I received my magazine from them last week, and saw that there was a Continuum Concept tour coming to Bristol (I live 40 minutes away), so I was looking to book a place .Sadly it wasn't to be.
Whilst browsing I noticed The Mother magazine and recognised Veronika from Extraordinary breastfeeding, so I subscribed and bought a copy of her lovely book. I am a breastfeeding mother to a 16 month old boy and 4 "big" children.
Donna

In the mailbag of TM26 - 2008

I subscribe to The Mother and love it, so naturally, I was excited to see Veronika's new book on sale. I am about to complete my breastfeeding peer counselling training, and have found it tough some of the time as a lot of women don't share the same views as me on mothering, especially through long term breastfeeding. This is why I need The Mother for support.
Claire

Although this article (full-term breastfeeding) on www.shazzie.com is nearly two years old, I read it this morning for the first time. I hope this message can be passed along to Veronika Robinson. Her article has entirely changed my perspective on breastfeeding, something I did not think possible.

My background: I'm a nurse and lactation consultant (IBCLC) in the US, and I have two children. My first was weaned at two years, eight months. My second is still breastfeeding at three and a half years. I was breastfed until my mother weaned me at four years (against my wishes, I understand).

I am happily, VERY happily, breastfeeding my son, a preschooler. It is one of the most enjoyable things in my life, and in his. I have already started to feel a sadness because he is getting older, and that because of his age and size, it will be time to wean him, or that he may self-wean, soon. Even though I am accustomed to shrugging off the odd looks and comments while breastfeeding a toddler, I did not think I would be able to handle odd looks and comments while breastfeeding a preschooler, and especially not for a school-age child.

However, after reading your article, I have come to the startling realisation that it is not necessary to wean him. I know, you'd think from my profession and my own experiences, this would be quite evident already. I didn't even know how much anxiety was already present until I read the article, and felt the weight of anticipated weaning lift from me. To be honest, in the past, I was a bit upset by the thought of a six or seven year old breastfeeding. I can't imagine nursing my now six year old daughter. But I can't stand the thought of NOT breastfeeding my son for as long as he desires.

Thank you for writing this article, Veronika. In a matter of minutes, reading your story has changed everything for us.
Karen

May I say I love The Drinks Are On Me on YouTube…it brought tears to my eyes. Veronika, you are a fabulous woman, reaching out across the world - to express with clarity what many of us have thought. I spent many years feeling frustrated and angry about the reaction I got from some folks - when I breastfed my first child 15 years ago in Liverpool, and felt isolated and old fashioned. Thank God, instinct helped me to carry on. We enjoyed 18 months, my son and I.

Please remember daily that you are a Goddess of Light. The way you use your gentle, feminine side to relay information is lovely. The chip on my shoulder has taken some years for me dissolve. Blessings to you all at The Mother magazine
Angela, New Zealand

I am writing, firstly to say how wonderful your magazine is, and how much pleasure and security it gives me. Since discovering the magazine here in New Zealand, I devour each issue with its informative articles on subjects I feel so strongly about, all validated with scientific, personal or logical references. This clarity, amongst the onslaught of money-making, soulless, misguided parenting 'leadership', is just beautiful. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

Secondly, I am currently creating a website of positive birth stories aimed at countering the profit and fear-driven birth industry. It is my hope that the true stories reflected will give mothers-to-be the courage to follow their instincts, and have gentle, beautiful, empowered births. I would appreciate if you could somehow incorporate the request, with my e-mail address, into the next possible edition!
With warm motherhood solidarity,
Josie Vendramini
organicgirlproductions@eftel.com

I was shown your magazine a few years ago by a German friend. I photocopied some articles that grabbed me. Now I'm expecting baby No.3 (actually due yesterday), so I thought I'd treat myself to a subscription.
Louise

Dear Barry,
There are a few companies who could learn from your customer service approach. I am looking forward to receiving my first copy. I am hoping it will help me feel like I have options other than the conveyor belt of bureaucracy which is shrouding the beauty and miracle of birth in forms and fear for me. Love and light,
Claire

I wanted to drop you a line, this is not something I have ever done before, but I came across your article on full-term breastfeeding, and I wanted to write to you in support.

I remember watching the programme early last year (Extraordinary Breastfeeding), and was quite shocked by it. It was one of those programmes that is still talked about today within 'baby' circles! I have since had a baby who is now five months old. I have to tell you that I was very much in the camp of - I will try breastfeeding, but if it doesn't work for me then I won't pursue it. Well, I can tell you that I obviously didn't know myself all that well! Once my son was born we had immediate skin-to-skin contact, and I tried breastfeeding quite early on. It seemed to work a couple of times, but I had really bad problems with breastfeeding whilst I was in hospital. We only stayed for a couple of days, and the midwives topped up my son with formula milk, as they told me he was not getting enough food. I now know how wrong they were, because he was very sick after both top-ups, so this was (in my view) an overload of milk - my milk had been sufficient.

I was called back to hospital, as blood tests showed that my son was dehydrated, and we went back to stay the night. It was a truly awful night. The midwives didn't help me in a nice way at all - and I had to express my milk in the end. The following day, the head midwife actually advised me to STOP expressing, and to feed my son FORMULA only! I told her I was choosing to express, as I wanted him to have my milk.

I tried to latch him on time and time again, but it wouldn't work, and I had so many emotional problems with breastfeeding. I was obsessed with breastfeeding and everything to do with it. I read all I could, and expressed every three hours without fail - day or night! It was exhausting! I remember the night it all changed for me. My husband was downstairs sorting a bottle of expressed milk, and my son was crying, and I was crying too - just wishing he would latch on and again, I tried, and he almost latched on, and I actually felt that what I was doing was wrong. I honestly believed that breastfeeding was wrong, that I was doing something wrong. This makes me feel very sad now to think back to this time. My husband came upstairs and I quickly unlatched and gave the expressed milk bottle - and kept this feeling to myself. I did tell him the next day, and he supported me so much, telling me not to give up and to keep trying to latch him on.

Almost six weeks after I gave birth, my son FINALLY latched on. And I can honestly say we have not looked back. I absolutely LOVE breastfeeding. I think it is, without a doubt, the single most important thing I can do for my baby. I leak still, first thing in the morning, but it has never crossed my mind to stop just because I leak. Before he latched on, he would be very windy, and we would spend ages trying to get a burp up! My life changed once he latched on. He is so happy, so content, so trusting. I truly believe this is due to breastfeeding. I didn't realise how much I wanted to breastfeed until I couldn't do it. I am already feeling the pressure to stop breastfeeding, but I don't want to, and I won't let them get to me. I intend to breastfeed for a while yet, plus my baby is only five months old! A BABY!

Apologies for rambling on, but I wanted to tell you my story and how I am so pleased I came across your article. You have inspired me, and I thank you for that. I don't doubt your story was twisted by the media, and I will most definitely set people right when your story comes up. I am extremely pro-breastfeeding, and the hype from the latest media frenzy Bringing Up Baby has made me realise how much so. I was appalled by the comment to the breastfeeding woman "inflicting your breasts upon the public". Absolutely ridiculous! I myself have been at the centre of the disapproving looks, whilst out for coffee with friends, because I was breastfeeding ~ the most natural thing in the world. Because I so desperately wanted to breastfeed, and I read so much, I fully understand what you mean about it being the absolute best milk. I find it amazing that some mothers don't even attempt it. I'm afraid I don't understand why a woman would deny her child such a precious start. I would like to train to become some sort of breastfeeding counselor one day, because it is definitely something I am passionate about. Your comment, "Animal milks are made for animal babies. Cow's milk is designed to build a calf's body very quickly. Goat's milk is designed for a kid." I couldn't agree with you more.

I am so pleased that the programme was aired, and that breastfeeding is being pushed to the forefront of people's minds. Breast milk is the best milk, and I do believe that it is too important to not do it. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope that I am one of many, many people who you have inspired to continue to breastfeed.
With best wishes,
Name withheld

The Drinks Are On Me

This book is like a warm hug from a close friend. I couldn't put it down. It's gone straight to the top of my pile of books!
Lorraine

Thank you, have received, and am devouring, my copy of The Drinks Are On Me.
G Sayers

I just wanted to say congratulations to Veronika, and all at The Art of Change, for a fantastic book. I'm halfway through and really enjoying it, and will recommend it to anyone I know who happens to be, or thinking about, breastfeeding. I'd also like to say thanks for the excellent customer service. It's really nice to find people who really do put their customers first and keep you up to date on what's happening. Thanks again.
M ichelle

Hi Veronika
I wanted to write and thank you for the latest edition of the Mother, which I thoroughly enjoyed as usual, and especially for your new book, which arrived today. It’s the best breastfeeding book I've read (half way through!), so real and passionate.

I really love the section on NAK (nursing at keyboard). We didn't have a computer when Kyran was a baby, but there were times I did NAK with Jonah, before I knew of the dangers of electromagnetic radiation, and before I started to understand the true intimacy and sharing of knowledge that breastfeeding provides (thank your for recommending the Anastasia books). I think it is SO important to raise awareness of these issues, and I am glad that I am now able to protect him from this and thoroughly enjoy every breastfeeding moment we share.

Kyran was so excited to see the pictures of him and Jonah in the magazine. Thank you for publishing them. If you ever want to use any more of my photos please don't worry about extending my sub any further, we are just happy to see ourselves in our fave mag :)

It was wonderful to read that your girls have chosen to return to home education; selfishly I'm hoping it means the return of the Radical Unschooling column in TM!
Thank you for being such a beacon of light and an inspiration for natural living and natural childhood. Love to you and your family.
Carrie & fam x

You have just made my day!! I just received your book, with your lovely note on the inside – that was really kind of you, and makes me wish even more that we lived near each other!!!
It looks great, and I love the pictures and art work. I am excited to read it! Sorry for all the !!!! marks, but it’s nice to feel good about something – you should really be proud!
Meg

A friend of mine lent me three copies - that was it, I was hooked!

Being a home-birthing, breastfeeding, bed-sharing, baby-wearing mummy, it’s lovely to find a magazine that is supportive, which also has valuable, informative, interesting information. Keep up the good work. Congrats on a fab mag.
Nicola

We just had our first baby and we love your mag!!
Thrisha

It's such a fantastic magazine. When friends and family sometimes look on my ideas as being a bit weird and silly, it's nice to read The Mother and know that they are not.
Michelle

I just wish more people could be made aware of the magazine and what it stands for, and that the people who read it/write it/publish it are NOT just a minority bunch of oddballs, but just give a damn about their children and the world as a whole. I also think Anna Durdant-Hollamby is wise beyond her years, and if that is what home schooling can do - fantastic!
Antje

Many thanks to you all at The Mother - I would not miss my magazine for anything, and have learnt such a lot from you all.
S.M.

Your article (Words that Change Lives).... AWESOME in that I picked it up just when I needed it, and the words just HIT ME....So I keep reading it, reading it, reading it,..and I DON'T THINK, but let the words sink in and see what happens...
Caroline

If we all keep singing the same song it will become a chorus. I look forward to each copy and feel it validates me as a mum.
Jan

I'm “supposed” to be focusing on homeschooling my beautiful girl this morning, but oh no - “you” have to come and land on my doormat and have me in floods of tears with your editorial column about cuddles being compulsory. (I'm thinking about buying that as a dot com.)

I love those girls of yours, and I love that you give voice to my thoughts. I have been on such an amazing journey these past two weeks; most of all I've realised that my daughter needs to be allowed to slow right down, be collected together, and held. School has scattered her, confused her, and filled the space between her ears with economic crap.
Thank you for just knowing what I needed to read this morning. <wipes tears away>
Rae

Hi, just a quick note to say I received your magazine a few days ago. What a fantastic read it is. I shall definitely be putting in a subscription very soon, postal strike or not. Well done. What wonderful people you are. At last, someone on my wavelength!
Blessings,
Jo

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